I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
