I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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