Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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