1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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