Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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