its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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