who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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