Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
