Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
