there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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