I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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