that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize