Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
