So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize