i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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