I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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