I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize