yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
