Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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