this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize