Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
