D3 body, D1 cock
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
