Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
