If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
