did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
