"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
