READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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