he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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