im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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