have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
