So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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