I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
