Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
