Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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