Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
