We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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