last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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