I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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