You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
