how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
