It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
