Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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