So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
