The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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