Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
