so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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