it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
50% drunk capacity currently
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
