I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
