i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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