I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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