We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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