Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
