Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
