**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
