Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
