if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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