why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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