ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
