I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
