No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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