Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
