"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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