I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize