ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I see more hoeing in ur future
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
