she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
