I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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