It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
