is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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