...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
