Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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