Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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