May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
