Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wish my penis had a tongue
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
