I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
