found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
