wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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