You can't motorboat a personality
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
